Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Man Hunting is NOT a Virtue

Proverbs chapter two says, “When wisdom enters your heart, and knowledge is pleasant to your soul, discretion will preserve you; understanding will keep you, to deliver you from the way of evil…to deliver you from the immoral woman, from the seductress who flatters with her words, who forsakes the companion of her youth, and forgets the covenant of her God.” Proverbs reveals further descriptions of an immoral woman: her lips drip honey, her mouth is smoother than oil, she has a flattering tongue, she is so beautiful men are tempted to lust after her, she allures with her eyelids, she preys upon men, she wears clothing designed to attract men, she has a crafty heart, she can be loud and rebellious, she likes to be out and about, and she is very good at enticing speech that causes her prey to yield to her.

While many of us would say that this is describing harlots, prostitutes parading the streets of some inner city, those of us who have seen that lot can tell you that they are not exceedingly beautiful. Solomon was trying to teach wisdom, not how to spot the obvious. Solomon was trying to teach how to recognize the crafty heart of a woman. To a certain degree, he was trying to show what a man hunter looks like. Hunting is "to search for, seek out, to search thoroughly in pursuit of something, to chase game for food or sport." If a lady of any age is hunting man, she is diligently chasing her game. She spends time and money on getting the attention of men. She chooses her clothing on what will put her in the best light. She lays the bait in her attire, her speech, her mannerisms, her adornments, her actions, and her activities. She searches out exactly what will make her a successful man hunter.


Many young women practice this until they learn just how to man hunt effectively to get the desired results. They are filled with lust of wanting to be desired. They learn how to flirt and get the attention they long for. They love the attention and the power it gives them over their prey. They follow a "catch and release" pattern. Sometimes they enjoy a "cat and mouse" game where they toy with their victims. More serious ladies are out for a man to call their own and will work at it until they ensnare their prey.

To a great degree, man hunting is practiced and tolerated in conservative Christian circles and it seems that people turn a blind eye to what is going on. I have watched young women who are dressed with everything covered and yet are, nevertheless, experienced man hunters. They know how to work a room to achieve their goal: attention.

Several years ago, my daughter would go and visit with some acquaintances after church services. She would often return very quickly after she had left. When we asked her why, she replied that one girl in the bunch would always suggest they go and talk with the guys, especially one guy. The girls were between 12 and 14 at the time. That one girl had already achieved status as a practiced man hunter. Our daughter knew that boy chasing, man hunting, seeking out attention was not our standard for her. She wisely turned away.

Through her teenage years our daughter endured constant criticism from others who were determined to have all the attention. They did not like that she refused to participate in their habitual man hunting excursions. As we have had more children enter these years, we regularly see our children continue to labor to walk down the road of keeping their eyes on Christ and pursuing holiness in their thoughts and behaviors. Friends that they have had, divert and choose the attention seeking, man hunting route. It almost always starts to happen as they mature and we go through the Scriptures again to remind ourselves and them, that this lifestyle pursuit of lust is NOT what God outlines.

What we want our daughters and our sons to have is a Biblical perspective of what a virtuous woman is truly like in appearance, deed, and thought. She may be exceedingly beautiful, but she is not working the room to draw attention to herself. She may be stunning, but she does not labor to grab every man's heart to herself. She will not take the initiative in pursuing any man. She will treat men in conversation and action as her brother in Christ, pleasantly and with respect and polite conversation. Her eyes are on Christ, on serving, on a greater prize. She does not, like the immoral woman of Proverbs, forget the covenant of her God. She remembers that no husband is better than a bad one and that God will provide her a man after His heart, not one who is hungrily enjoying being pursued and letting a strange woman toy with his eyes, affections and senses.

We wish more parents would have a vision of this and teach it to their children. We wish more parents would see that no where in Scripture does it list as a quality of a virtuous, godly woman: expert man hunter.

----posted by Queen Lucy

3 comments:

Monica said...

Thank you Queen Lucy - what a wonderful post.

Caer Clan said...

This is a PS to my post. Elizabeth Gaskell wrote a great book called "Wives and Daughters" that is now a BBC production. In it, Molly portrays the obedient, virtuous young woman while her step sister Cynthia is a picutre of a man hunter to the Nth degree. A great example of the dichotomy.
Queen Lucy

Anonymous said...

this is very good. Christian girls should not be" man hunters". We are to be "in the world but not of the world" and this is an example of worldliness that is being brought into the churches/families of God. Anna